Darjeeling
A cup of tea, and things of the heart that I find
I cannot say elsewhere
This blog is for those thoughts that boil up in
my head, but cannot be expressed in my life elsewhere. Sometimes there are
things you cannot say, even to those closest to you, and yet, there they are,
occupying your mind.
A great example of
this is how I feel about J. After a long time, we are in touch again, and yet
here we both are, happily married to other people. And yet, I find we have
picked up exactly where we left off all those years ago- in love, and very close
to each other.
This is wondrous
complicated. He wants to see me, but I am afraid to see him face to face. The
years don't matter, and I am terrified that I will jump on him and haul him off
to the nearest motel room. I am pretty sure hubby wouldn't like
that.
This path bears a very careful
tread. I will not give J. up again, but I am, in fact, in a very good situation
with hubby, and do not want to mess that
up.
And yet- when I talk to J. I am all
twitterpated like I was a kid. I remember so clearly our first date- my first
date, in fact, and how I put on such an act of not being excited about it- and
how excited I really was.
Boy, we put
on the act of the century for my parents. And I remember our first
kiss.
It was afternoon, and we were
riding around in his car. We talked about the possibility of kissing for
probably an hour without ever actually saying that was what we were talking
about. One thing we definitely had was the ability to talk about things and
understand each other while seeming to talk about something else entirely. Then
we kissed, and it was wonderful. We kissed a lot.
Posted: Sat
- April 19, 2003 at 09:57 PM