Things J does not know about me
Those things that have happened since we have
been apart
1) I am 60 pounds overweight. (hangs head, sees
belly, looks elsewhere).
2) I am a cancer
survivor.
3) I have lived most of my life on
the edge of poverty.
4) I worked for 3 1/2
years as a police dispatcher- and a damned good one
too
5) I can swear like a sailor if I want
to, but I don't, because I don't want to.
6)
I have thought of him often through the years we have been
apart
7) I have tried a lot of things, and
had some adventures
8) I have paid the price
for the things I have tried that didn't work
out.
9) I have never been
arrested.
I have fantasized since we
have been back in contact, about being able to send a message back to my
youthful self, and telling myself to hang on to him, and not to let him go, even
though we were separated by my
move.
But, as T pointed out, if I had
done that, there are 5 very fine people who would never have existed. And I am
not at all willing to give any of them up. Actually, T was only thinking of my
children. There would actually have been 7 very fine people who never had a
chance to live. And maybe more when his kids get around to
reproducing.
I have been fantasizing a
lot since I have been talking to J. I wonder if this is healthy.
Posted: Sat
- April 19, 2003 at 10:30 PM