Calming Down


In which we are groping for an appropriate way to relate to each other

I think things are calming down with J. It seems like our conversations are focusing more on the mundane day to day things about life rather than about how excited we are to be connected again.

It's really not an option to run off and have a wild affair or anything like that. We both love our spouses, and neither one of us is the impulsive type.

On the other hand, to find someone with whom you are on the same wavelength, and with whom you have that degree of communication and connection is a rare thing in this life, and not something to treat lightly. So we are not willing to be separated again, but both of us are determined to be friends forever.

And if our feelings fall into the category of love, that is all right, as long as our actions don't fall into the category of adultery, which they won't. We are unfortunately not teenagers any more.

Yet, I have been thinking a lot about how much of the teenager is still alive in the middle aged grandmother. For all our apparent maturity and the dismal deterioration of our bodies, we are still the exact same people we were when we were 15 and 16. I think that fact is not really given enough room to live in our reality. Which is a sad thing also.

Posted: Sat - April 26, 2003 at 11:46 AM